The first stop on the way back cooking machine is at the 1939 Mazola Salad Bowl. The venerable vegetable oil company was around then; and while some recipes mention oil, it appears instead Mazola mayonnaise and dressings seemed to be all the rage that year.
According to the introduction page, salad was an accidental invention by a Roman chef. The Greeks adapted it and then somehow the wilting French stole the salad before it spread to a thousand islands.
Now we move on to the best part of the culinary exhibit: the domesticated husband.
The “trusty male” just needs to be “exposed to the practise” of salad making. Then just see “how proud they [men] are of their creations” If we men ever doubted our servile state, this book proves that females are indeed in charge to break mens’ wills and train them.
Watch how he has been trained to enjoy making salad. According to the article, men will enjoy making salad if they just have the right ingredients and giant forks, and an apron.
The giant grin and wide-eyed stare may indicate some sort of hypnotization or medication. It’s unclear what the man is staring at; perhaps he is hoping the celery will turn into bacon through telemetry.
Says the article: “Men just need a bowl. There’s nothing to boost a man’s ego like his own salad creation. He even gets to name it!”
Wife: “Honey, I’m sorry you lost that big client at work. Here, have a bowl and make a salad! It’ll be all better.”
As for the naming part, somehow “Bob’s salad” doesn’t have a ring to it. I sure hope the men of the 30s were more clever than that.
To sum up, the article suggests, “The next time you have a buffet or supper party, tie an apron around the nearest man.”
Not really sure about that advice. It could be rather awkward coming up behind your pastor and tying an apron on him.
Now look, what adorns the head of the dutiful wife? Is it a spotted salad bird? Or perhaps the halo of a domestic angel?
We now creep towards the most horrific object in this collection: the abominable salad monster!
While the title says it is grapefruit salad, I somehow doubt its legitimacy as a fruit. The abhorrent object looks more like a fly eye’s view of Cyclops. Or maybe a worm hole has swallowed a piranha? Or perhaps the sushi rolls have been eaten by a jellyfish. Feel free to share you interpretations!
After looking through grayscale photographs of supposedly gorgeous salads, I found one agreeable: Tomato and Avocado Salad Bowl. The ingredients are common and identifiable (avocado, lettuce, bleu cheese). I followed the recipe exactly. Below is the original picture and my version.
It’s nice to know that after 74 years the salad is still good. Fortunately, natural food selection has weeded out the dubious creations. Times and tastes have changed, but salad has remained, along with the hilarious historical proof.
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